Give or take the time frame but it's been nearly 2 years since I've done ANYTHING on here and I'm wondering if I should even keep up with the AKForty7 moniker... I've moved on to bigger, brighter things and ALOT has happened to me since the last time I even took the seriousness of keeping up with this DeviantArt spiel. The same people are famous here, the User Interface has changed yet once again but I'm pretty sure alot of things haven't changed to say the least. The community must have grown exponentially with more people I won't even be able to count but that leaves open for alot more fans to be misplaced, never mentioned or even gained, again, to say the least. I've been sort of in a bitter mood lately, with small things that rack up to a mocking mountain of concerns but like I've said, alot's happened in two years.

To keep this post short and simple as best as I can keep it, I've graduated from university-level college, got that fine Bachelor's of Studio Art VisCom emphasis, have landed a couple of small illustration jobs (one I hope to get finished up by the end of the year) and trying to rekindle the amazing wonders of imagination that used to make me smile during the day, and dream during the nights (or at least the ones I was able to fall asleep by, as I find myself staying up longer and longer with immense thoughts much bigger than me.)

Life hits you hardest when you least want or expect it to but as an artist you need to learn how to place which world before you, all of them, the ones you create and the one you live in ultimately. Of course this could all just be the broodings of a young artist... I remember something one of my instructors said once, it went something like, "As a young artist, you brood and hate everything. As you get older, you can still hate everything, but you most likely won't. You'll be wiser, happier and more learned of the world you hope to hate, but can't."

It wasn't as eloquently put like that but the way I took it, that's how it came to mind, and I think about that alot. That when you're young, you hate everything and as an artist you tend to show that part about you because you grew up, some people more than others, a little differently... at least that's how I grew up, just a little misunderstood and vastly taken out of place. Life isn't as concerning of the personality issues now; I'm happier than I could ever remember myself then and wouldn't change any measure of the creature I've become today... but looking back, one can't help but wish things turned out a little bit more differently... a little bit better, a little bit brighter, more hugs or something like that, who knows, it just could've been better. We all can't be winners though right? But we can all be fighters... no one ever mentions that for some reason, it's as if we're all predestined to win or lose, succeed or fail, but that we can't fight what we are. I'm not going to get into any sort of spiritual/religious connotations, I'm talking about simply being a human being.

I'm sick of how I feel right now but I'll get over it... it just feels weird that it resorted me coming back to some nearly 2-year old DeviantArt account I'm more than sure I won't be updating anytime soon except to shoot out somewhat comforting outlets of concerning conundrums and analyses while listening to classic Genesis songs, classic as in when Genesis still had Peter Gabriel in the band and did songs like "Watchers of the Skies." (Which by the way is an awesome... awesome ambience tune if you ever wanna just forgive and forget the world for a moment, Peter Gabriel is there to help you out.)

2 years though... and honestly, I'm afraid to even put up any of the 'new' stuff I've come up with over the short years' disappearance. I'd thought about trying to become a unique individual on DeviantArt, but that's about as dysmally profound as finding light in a buried grave; so instead I'll leave it at that, a little annoyed, a little disjointed and a whole lot of depressed at the moment (when I shouldn't be).